Connect: Feb 2013

"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened.  Happiness never decreases by being shared” - The Buddha

The first two months of the year have been, well...let’s just say hectic. At times, I found myself pretty stressed and more negative than I’d like to be. And in looking back, I consistently find room to improve in the way in which we (or I in this case) manage the ups and downs of life. It’s interesting, when we’re on top of the world, we often feel like everything is in it’s place, that we can handle any curve ball coming our way, and we seem to have an endless supply of energy and resource to give to the world. But then, there’s the downs, when we literally feel gravity holding us down and the weight of the world seems like it’s about to crush us....we’re irritable, tired, and the last thing we want to do is be positive and “happy”, or in some cases, even be around others.

No, when things seem down and out, many of us have the tendency, to close the world off, push away those that can or will help, and enter a state of complete independence, thinking that by “hunkering down” we can push through the current state, and get back to higher ground where we’ll again be less stressed, in control, healthy and “happy”. But interestingly, the research suggests our “gut instinct” to rely and focus only on self is off the mark, and that some of the best ways to ensure we live a healthy and happy life....where we feel on top of the world.....is dependent on the relationships and connectedness we have with others.

In a study of 820 adults tracked over twenty years, a group from Tel Aviv University concluded that something they termed the “friendly colleague effect” can have a profound impact on our lives, and that people with little or no “peer social support” in the workplace were 2.4 times more likely to DIE during the twenty year study period, and especially if they started the study between the ages of 38 and 43. What’s more, further research led by James Fowler on 4,739 individuals in the Framingham Heart Study network from 1983-2003, indicated that health and happiness can be contagious, and that when a friend who lives within a mile (about 1.6 km) becomes happy, we as individuals increase our likelihood of being happy by 25%! So the trick.....how do we ensure our friends or colleagues are happy thereby helping us realize happiness?

Well, maybe it’s time we reconsider our strategies to focus inward in times of uneasiness, and instead, focus outward to improve happiness....according to Ryan Howell, an associate professor at San Fransico State University, in a study that looked at an individual’s happiness as result of their purchasing patterns (material vs. experiential)...those that invested in experiences, like going on a vacation or to the movies with others “tended to show a higher satisfaction at the time and after the experience had passed”, and further, participants claimed that the experiences led to more happiness in those around them.

So consider this, the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, “connect” with those you care about, and invest in shared, memory-lasting experiences with them!

-Eric E.